preliminary hearing

today is the day that determines when we get to meet our sweet violet.  the preliminary hearing is sometime today.  ethiopia is 8 hours ahead of us.  so, allan and i decided to fast and pray throughout the day.  we ate breakfast at 9:00 am and will fast until 9:00 am tomorrow morning.  our hope is that the judge that hears about us and our case today will find favor and mercy on us.  we have already experienced a three month delay due to licensing issues.  most times the court date is assigned 4-6 weeks after the preliminary hearing.   that means we will most likely travel in may to meet her.  there are times though when a court date happens one week later.  obviously, this is our preference.  yes airfare is more expensive, yes it puts a lot of stress on getting everything ready, finding places for the kids to go, finding people to cart them to and from their activities, finding a poor soul to do school with them 3 days a week.  but, the Lord will take care of the details, just like He always does.  He tells us not to worry, and we will obey that command.  so, while traveling as early as 1-2 weeks from now,  may not be the plan for Violet, we pray that during this time we will cling to His words and promises.  we pray that through this entire adoption, HE receives all the glory. 

i also must admit, i have never fasted before in my life.  if you know me at all, you know i love food.  i may occasionally skip breakfast and eat goldfish and a coke for lunch, but i love to cook and i love to eat.  and there is rarely a night that goes by that i don't end up on the couch with a bowl of blue bell mint chocolate chip.  this is going to be hard for me.  i had to heat up lunch for the kids.  leftover spaghetti and garlic bread.  it was tough.  but it's not as tough as what Jesus did for us.  and i will survive.  i am amazed at what this feels like though.  it's hard, but it's hard in a great way.  i love the tears that are forming in my eyes as i pray each hour.  i love the emails i am getting from our close friends and family as they write sweet words that lift us up.  while i am praying selfishly that favor is found on us and  our case, i also pray for the millions of other orphans in the world who don't have a family waiting for them.  would you pray for those too?

Perspective

Perspective.  It's not a word I think about much.  The dictionary defines it as a mental view or outlook.  Two weeks ago my perspective changed.  Two weeks ago,  we received a call that little did we know would change our perspective on life.

It was a mostly normal day.  It was a Friday so that meant the kids were home that day with homework.  We were finishing up and I was straightening up the house before we ran to the store for a few things. We hopped in the car to run to Target.  My phone rang with a number I didn't recognize.  I have learned to let these numbers from out of state go to voicemail.  I guess I was feeling nice that day and answered it.  It was our social worker, Lesley, from the adoption agency.  Here is our conversation....

Me:  "Hello?"
Lesley:  "Hey Sarah, it's Lesley from Lifeline.  I had a quick question for you."
Me:  "Oh hey Lesley!  Ok, what is it?"
Lesley:  "Well, I don't have any paperwork on this child, but we have some information that we will soon be getting a baby girl with a cleft lip and possible cleft palate.  Would you and Allan consider that as something that is a medically correctable?"
Me:  "Ummm, I think so.  I definitely want to run it by Allan though."
Lesley:  "Yeah, of course.  We are only calling people who are coming up on the list to get a feel for what they think.  Just shoot me an email and let me know once y'all talk about it."
Me:  "OK, sounds great!"

After I hang up phone and realize the conversation I have just had, I immediately call Allan.  He says we will talk about it later that night.  We agree that it doesn't matter what she looks like, that this child needs a home and love and we can provide that.  We email Lesley and say sure, we would be interested.

Fast forward two weeks.  We've heard nothing.  It's crossed our minds, but we haven't thought much about it.  We've been busy.  It's almost Thanksgiving, projects for school were due, family is coming into town, we are working on trying to get our house refinanced and our home study updated from the move.    I keep thinking how I want to post pictures on the blog of the "new house."  Our perspective is different then.

My parents came into town on Friday after Thanksgiving.  We decide to go to a local Christmas tree farm.  As soon as we get there, my phone rings.  It says Ontario, Canada.  I say, "that's strange," and hit decline.  I jokingly hang up and say, "that was probably a referral."  Everyone laughs.  Here is where many of you are asking what a referral is.  A referral is a picture and biological information on a child that they have chosen for our family.  You can say yes or no.  My voice mail dings a few minutes later with a message from the Canada phone number.  I listen.  I laugh.  I say to Allan and my parents, "yes I declined a phone call for a referral."  My parents willingly watch the kids while Allan and I run to the car to call Lesley back.  She tells us again about a sweet baby girl who was born 4 months prior with a cleft lip and palate.  She tells us how she was abandoned.  She tells us she is ours if we want her.  We cry.  We laugh.  We hug.  We kiss.  We have a baby on the other side of the world that is ours.  It's a strange feeling.  We haven't met her, but we love her.  We stare at her picture a lot.  We think she is beautiful.  Two weeks ago, we would have thought our baby would be perfect on the outside.   But, she's not.  Just like we are not perfect.  We may look it, but our hearts are dirty.  But God created her in his image.  And she's perfect to us!  Perspective.

Prayers are appreciated as we anticipate her arrival.  Prayers for paperwork to be fast.  Prayers for her safety and health.  Prayers for our children who say they understand, but are in for some major life changes.  Prayers for bonding.  She will probably be 8 or 9 months before we get to bring her home.   She is beautiful.  I wish I could show you how beautiful she is.  Her name is Violet. 

a move in our future?

allan and i had been discussing for the last year or so what we will do with space in the event we are blessed with two littles from ethiopia.  our current house is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath totally updated to our taste.  we've enjoyed the time we have spent here and really hated to move away from a great sized yard and a house that was completely remodeled by us.  so we decided since we are also blessed with a very talented brother (brother in law) who is an architect, that we would add on.  he started getting some thoughts gathered and taking measurements.  in the meantime, i would still search the mls (housing market) for houses.  however, i am extremely picky and never expected to move again.  i also have said i never ever want to remodel again!  it's just a stressful time and always ends up more expensive than you've planned.  i think the fact that our schooling looks a little different than most and we spend 3 of our school days at home, i want a house that isn't constantly a construction zone. so because i'm picky and i don't want to remodel, the likelihood of us finding a house that is bigger and fixed to my likings was pretty slim.

so, allan and i are on a quick little trip to mexico once school was out and got a text from a friend/realtor that has showed us some houses in the past.  he says "a new house on market and it is a newburn house."  he says something about it needing some tlc and we are the people for the job.  i laugh and say no thanks.  quick trip to mexico over, we are home and i notice a house in a good neighborhood in fort worth, 4 bedrooms, 3 baths a pool, in our price range.  i text our friend who agrees to meet us over there.  as expected, the house wasn't going to work for us.  we love our current house and making a move for a little more square feet and a pool didn't seem like a great choice.  realtor/friend begs us to come look at the "fixer upper, in need of some tlc" that he had texted us about in mexico.  we agree.  and guess what, we love it!  it's got the space we need and i can totally visualize the potential. which is also very shocking.  allan usually has the vision for things. it's in a great neighborhood and will hopefully be a great investment (someday.)  the kicker is, we know up front that the seller will not take a contingency offer (meaning if we want this house, we have to put an offer in and hope our house will sell.)  for those of you who know me well, you know this kind of thing stresses me out!  however, allan and i spent a few days in prayer and really felt like this house was made for us and that God will provide and take care of the details.

another back story, allan's parents go to lots of estate sales in the area.  we call them to have them meet us over for a quick walk through before we put an offer in.  and when we give his dad the address, he responds, "y'all can't buy that house, your mom wants it."  allan's mom attended the estate sale this past spring.  she fell in love and thought it would be the perfect house for us and our growing family.  she did really love it and would love to have her hand in a project like this, but knew that it was too big for the two of them.  however, she also knows her daughter in law well enough that i was never going to go for a house in that condition that needed to be remodeled.  so she had never mentioned it to me. again, i had repeated over and over the past year, i will never remodel again.  they were more than thrilled that we had found this house!

we put a contract on the house, listed our current house the next week, and had three offers on it within 2 days.  two of our offers were asking price and one of those offers was from a couple who was willing to let us stay in it a month longer for remodeling purposes.  so the next adventure begins! and God is good!

kindergarten graduation

this is our first experience with an actual kindergarten graduation.  we've done a few little awards ceremonies with friends who home school, but have never had an "official graduation."  oh my, have we been missing out.  i'm not sure how most schools do this, but at CLPS, it is truly special.  each child wears the hat with the tassle which they all love.  also, each child is presented with a medal and certificate that talks about the character quality they exhibited best throughout the year.  sam's teacher gave him the quality of obedience.  melt our hearts!  seriously, we were some proud parents. 

sam receiving his award

the kindergarten class was so large this year, they actually had two sections.  one met on monday/wednesday and the other met on tuesday/thursday.  sam attends the tuesday/thursday option, but both classes were represented at graduation.

the top of this sheet is from the first day of school, the bottom from the last

if anyone was like me and didn't expect a whole lot of learning in kindergarten, let this paper speak for itself!  

dance recital

anna has been taking ballet for several years.  this year her dance recital production was hansel and gretel.  these performances are truly amazing and the students have so much talent.  anna's class were hershey kisses.  i have to admit when i heard what part she was playing, i had some serious doubts about how a costume that looked like a hershey kiss could possibly be cute.  boy was i wrong!  this year the recital fell on mother's day. add in a baseball game and a puking child to the mix and it made for a very eventful day.  i kept repeating over and over and over that i wouldn't be a mother if it weren't for these sweet babies.  ;)

before the recital

variety show

each year our school hosts a variety show, aka talent show.  anna entered and played the piano.  my pictures aren't great, but here  are a couple from the night!  so proud of you for overcoming this stage fright and getting up there and doing a great job!

great job anna!

spring baseball

i feel like i have to post a little something about spring baseball.  not only do we love the rangers this time of year, but little league consumes our lives during the spring (and fall).  i jokingly said when we got the game and practice schedules at the beginning of the season that i was just going to pitch a tent at the park.  i was only halfway kidding.  we live on hot dogs, nachos, and popcorn during these two months and usually need to take out a small loan to fund the kids concession stand purchases.  it's a bad time of year to be putting on an extra 10 lbs right before swim suit season, but we can't get enough of it, well most of us. i love it, the boys love it, allan loves, it, and that about covers it.  anna doesn't love it, but she tolerates it well thanks to the concession stand!  most of the pictures are in video form, so i'll post a couple of the boys hitting.  somehow, we always forget to bring our camera to games and the iphone doesn't zoom all that great.  luke started kid pitch this year and sam is in his last year of pee wee.

dugout ~ one of the faves among the boys

luke on the cardinals

gampy's 70th birthday

my mom decided to throw my dad a 70th birthday party.  you only turn 70 once and it was a delightful party.  my parents are great hostesses and the turnout was great.  i don't have many pictures from the actual party day, but we got to stay through the weekend and had a great time with them on sunday.

flower picking, bb gun shooting and fishing

love this

a perfect tree swing

she could swing for hours

thanks mom and dad for a great birthday!  thanks dad for being such a great dad and gampy.  we love you so much!

easter

every year we go to a big easter lunch at allan's parents house.  it's proving to get more difficult as the kids get more involved with sports, but it's always a great day for everyone. the best part about the day is the great easter egg hunt. each grandchild is assigned a color for the day and a number of eggs to find. everyone leaves happy because they each get the same number of eggs and the big kids can't take from the littles!  she's so creative!  here are some pics to recap the day. and a few more from easter morning.

luke wouldn't be caught dead wearing this, but aren't these two cute!

trying to hide the fact he's eating all the candy he's finding

checking out her loot

sam and pops on the hunt for one last egg

all dressed up

a silly picture from sam

anna's birthday

sweet anna rose celebrated her 8th birthday in march with a skating party at skate town, circa 1970.  she and her great friend brianna both celebrate birthday's in march and decided to do a combination party.  it also helps that brianna's mom is one of my best friends too and we are always looking for a good deal.  ;)

anna and brianna carrying out their loot

anna with three friends from school

her adorable cake made by my talented mother in law

she got a new bike

and a family party with a sheet (sheath) cake

anna rose, you light up our lives with your sweet spirit, your creativity, and your great personality!  you laugh at things that most kids your age would never get, your maturity amazes us!  you are a wonderful big and little sister and rarely complain about the numerous baseball games that we drag you around to.  you are a beautiful ballerina and a joy to our family!  we love you sweet girl!  happy 8th birthday!

fredericksburg

right after sam's birthday, we took a trip to see some of our favorite people, jake and helen.  jake and allan have been friends since the nursery at church.  that's a long time!  and i couldn't be more thankful that i got to be a part of their friendship and become friends with helen.  about 7 years ago, jake and helen moved to fredericksburg.  :(  it was bittersweet for us.  we see them a few times a year and it is always a special time for us.  we shopped, we ate ice cream, we got a sitter and went on a date, and we climbed enchanted rock.

sam really wanted this stuffed animal and i said no. if you've ever seen his collection, you would totally get why i said no.  isn't it cute though?

this was luke's first time to feed a baby and hold a baby while walking.  that happens when you are only 3 years old when your youngest sibling arrives.

at the bottom of enchanted rock

inside a cave at the top of enchanted rock

on top of the world

brothers.....

me and my sweet girl heading back down

and the amazing host and hostess for the weekend!

thanks jake and helen for hosting our family and most of all for being amazing friends!  we love y'all!

rodeo time

we go to the stock show every year and the rodeo every other year.  this year was a rodeo year.  i love the rodeo.  i don't know if it's the atmosphere, the cowboys, or a little of both, but it is one of my favorite activities. :)  this year proved to be no different.  here are some pics (all taken with the phone) so quality leaves a bit to be desired.

all dressed up, luke's to cool to wear a hat anymore and anna's was too little.

and we ended at a fort worth favorite...dutch's hamburgers.

sam

this is post is so late.  we celebrated sweet sam's birthday back in february.  he wanted to do an "all boy party" this year.  however, he wouldn't pass the invitations out at school or the thank you notes because he didn't want to hurt the girls feelings.   here are a few pictures from the friend and family party!

celebrating 6 at van grow art studio

there was painting

and junk robot creating

and of course tie-dyed cupcakes

after we left the fun art party, we headed back to our house for a little family celebration and more cake of course.  sam's favorite food is none other than....pizza.  so, pizza it was!

celebrated by lots of family

love this picture of him

and the amazing cake my very talented mother in law made

sam, you are such a blessing to us.  you love to be just like your big brother and we couldn't be more thankful for that.  you have such a servant's heart, you love baseball, you love school, and you bring us so much joy!  we cannot believe our baby is 6!  you will be an amazing big brother some day soon. 

147 million orphans

i don't like fundraising.  i don't usually go to jewelry parties, make-up parties, you get the idea.  however, adoption is really stinking expensive.  we totally went into this saying over and over and over  "God will fund what He favors." and we totally believe that!  but, being the little planner i am,  i also feel like maybe i should help God out a little.  :)  just kidding!  so, we signed up for a partnership program through 147 million orphans.  i'm sure some of you are familiar with this amazing organization. basically, if you click on the button on the side of the blog that says "we are a 147 million orphans fundraising family" and make a purchase from OUR link, a portion of your sale goes straight to our agency, into our little account, and helps us bring our baby(ies) home.  and most importantly, you will be helping to spread the word about the orphan crisis.  we will only get credit if you use our link.  they have tons of cute shirts, bags, necklaces, and hats.  i won't harass, i promise, but i might occasionally post a reminder.  ;)

much love,

s

christmas eve

this year we took a new approach to christmas.  we felt like we've way overdone christmas in years past and while we put a great deal of focus on what it's truly about, we felt our actions weren't necessarily following our beliefs.  so, we decided pretty early on that we were going to adopt a new tradition.  we take no credit for this, a sweet friend told me about it, i read about it from another blog and combined the two into our newest tradition.  we told the kids we were going to do five gifts this year:  something you want, something you need, something to play with, something to read, and something to give away.  on christmas eve when they opened the advent calendar, we had a note in there that told them they would be receiving their first gift for christmas and that it would be the gift they gave away.  we gave them each some money and they looked through the world vision catalog and the samaritan's purse catalog that we had received in october and began searching for the perfect gifts.  i should rewind and say that last year, we did this as a family and used some money the kids had saved to purchase gifts as a family.  but, we pretty much had the final say.  so this year, i think they enjoyed being able to spend the money the way they wanted.  it was so much fun watching them pick gifts that really represented their true personality.

luke was the first to pick his gifts.  he's a boy who knows what he wants and makes quick, confident decisions.  he chose to provide fruit trees and to feed a hungry baby for a week.  anna took a while longer to pick something.  and she had been pouring through the catalogs for several weeks.  she eventually landed on clothing and shoes for children in need and two rabbits.  two rabbits will multiply into 52 rabbits by the end of the year (i assume they work out the male/female aspect of all that.)  and sam decided on a share of a dairy trio that provides three families with a goat, a cow, and a sheep for milk and wool.   he had a little bit of extra money left and decided to provide a stuffed lamb that plays jesus loves me.  i normally am a "no more stuffed animals mom," but who can resist that.  plus it wasn't going to be added to our collection.  :)  and if any of you know sam, you know that the stuffed animal fits him perfectly.  that boy LOVES stuffed animals!

i know they loved giving and we hope that this will be a tradition they carry on in their families someday.  we ended the evening with the worship service at our church and dinner at our house with gram and pops.  here are a few pictures for us to  remember the wonderful day!

a family picture of us all dressed up for church

games with gram and pops

and snuggled all on one air mattress (another tradition) ~ note the stuffed animal bucket in the background all belonging to sam

christmas fun

we love celebrating the birth of our savior!  it's a really special time in our house!  the first couple of weeks of december always seem a bit crazy with school projects ending, piano recitals, and the list goes on.  but as soon as thanksgiving is over, we cherish the month ahead.  every year the kids look forward to our advent calendar.  this is a calendar i bought at target several years ago.  however, they've caught on to the tradition of a piece of candy for each day and sometimes a fun surprise activity.  this year was no different.  on december 1st, the kids opened these fun suckers for their first surprise.

we decorated cookies, made gingerbread houses, visited santa, opened christmas pj's, looked at christmas lights in new jammies, got hot chocolate at starbucks. and most importantly, ended each night reading from behold the lamb of god by russ ramsey.  it was a little over our kids' heads, but i know they will get a little more out of it each year.  here are some pictures to recap.

new christmas jammies

visiting santa in downtown fort worth

our gingerbread village

christmas cookie fun

the finished product